Sunday, April 27, 2014

Due date

April 26. The due date of two of my babies. One enthusiastically celebrated his fourth birthday on his due date, one is not here. One alive, one dead.

When I was pregnant with Harper, I felt like April 26 was a magical day. What were the odds of having the same due date twice?

But there was no magic to help my bean.

Shea's birthday will always be exactly one week from both his siblings. I wonder if this time period will always contain a slurry of emotions and memories or if that fades at some point? What will our tradition become for celebrating Harper's birthday,  mourning her death?

Too soon to tell.

Shea sang and bounced on my bed this morning,  still riding the high of birthday euphoria. Spawn pushes and shoves and signals his impatience with his crowded living quarters. And Harper? She occupies my thoughts.

Only 6 more days.

1 comment:

  1. You are never far from my thoughts. I know how lovely and terrible this time is for you. The feelings will eventually compartmentalize - you will be able to separate them and assign them places in your heart. Take this time for yourself.