My nesting instinct is finally being satisfied. Nursery has been set up for double occupancy. Basement renovation is underway. And I had the chance this weekend to sort through itty-bitty baby clothes, which brought me to sentimental tears. Although I am having difficulty believing those tiny little garments used to fit the sturdy, adorable boy who is rapidly entering his terrible threes!
It is making me terribly excited to have another of these extraordinary creatures in my home...
Now we turn to the dark side...
My OB inadvertently raised all sorts of niggling paranoid fears in me during our routine appointment. She lectured me on overdoing it, told me no more working out and that I need to take it easy. The baby is too small, she said, and because of that is likely to come early. Because of the heart defect, we want the baby as big as possible.
For me that means several things. One, I am trying very, very hard to take it easier. I am also bulking up on protein in an effort to pack some ounces on the bean prior to the next growth check ultrasound.
Finally, I am trying very, very hard to turn my thoughts away from the dark place of premature birth and preterm labor. The nightmare of a preterm little one with a heart defect is one I can barely wrap my mind around, and yet now, it is almost all I think about.
I am reading all sorts of books on preterm labor and high risk pregnancies and, frankly, I'm finding the stats to be pretty reassuring. Still, I will feel much better when I'm at the 34 week mark and beyond.
30 weeks, 4 days...
C-section is scheduled for Monday, April 22nd. Here's hoping I make it!
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