We met with the speech therapist today, and it seems pretty clear that Harper may never breast feed. She has a tiny cleft palate at the back of her mouth, and while normally kids with clefts do OK with breastfeeding, because the breast is soft enough to basically plug up the hole, if Harper's case the cleft may actually be too small and too far back for that no happen (natch!)
She also has a short tongue and little rooting instinct. So we're supposed to work on her rooting with a pacifier or nipple - hopefully get her to a point where she'll accept a bottle orally,
Like many things related to Harper, this makes me sad. I loved breastfeeding Shea. I loved those quiet night time hours today, cuddling with my boy. (OK, not all of them. I distinctly remember watching the clock and thinking "Are we done yet?) I loved lying in bed, nursing, and falling sleep in lazy afternoon naps together.
Somehow, I don't think the breast pump is up for a lazy afternoon nap.
Because, as much as I loved breastfeeding, I really hated pumping. Hated it. And yet here I am, hooked up to the damn machine. Moo.
In a completely unrelated note, I have to confess, while writing that earlier, very emotional post about wanting back the baby I didn't get, crying hysterically, I typed, "I want my baby back" and then all I could think of was the Chili's commercial, "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs...."
Even in the worst times, dark humor dwellls....
You can still lay in bed, feeding baby, and falling asleep in a lazy afternoon nap. Just pump first (which goes much more quickly since you can do both sides at the same time), then snuggle. It's all good. :)
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